Gordon Menzies' Song Lyrics

BANNOCKBURN
(Gordon Menzies)

Edward of England northwards did ride
Will yon Scotsman fight was the question that he cried
Will yon Scotsman fight, aye in darkness or daylight
We shall die or be free cried the Bruce

Chorus:
We shall die or be free cried the Bruce
We shall die or be free cried the Bruce
Will yon Scotsman fight, aye in darkness or daylight
We shall die or be free cried the Bruce

A hundred thousand Sassenachs had rallied to their King
And Edward King of Scots was the boast that he did sing
No English King of Scots no our freedoms nearly bought
We shall die or be free cried the Bruce

Chorus

The brave and mighty Bruce to his countrymen did turn
He said stand fast and true when you reach the Bannockburn
Stand fast and true for this land belongs to you
We shall die or be free cried the Bruce

Chorus

Now long-bows of England at forty-thousand force
Deadly and grim fell upon the Scottish gorse
Deadly and grim fell still we sang our battle hymn
We shall die or be free cried the Bruce

Chorus

The Bannockburn is won the Sassenachs are fled
Nothing now remains but the dying and the dead
Nothing now remains but a Scottish Monarch reigns
We shall die or be free cried the Bruce

Chorus

BLIND ANGUS
(Gordon Menzies)

Far away in a northern land,where high the mighty mountains stands,
Tis said there dwells a hermit man, Blind Angus of the Hill.
Ancient as the very stone that Jacob laid his head upon.
In mountain cave he dwells alone, Blind Angus of the Hill.

Oft has he saved a drowning child, and countless times cruel death beguiled,
Within the gleam of winters smile when ice bedecks the rill.
Travelers in the drifting snow, knowing not which way to go,
Find safety by his campfire glow—Blind Angus of the Hill.

Chorus:
Angus is forever young.
The birds and beasts to him have sung.
Each in their own bewildering tongue, and time for him stands still.
His spirit is with nature twined, conversing with the fairy kind.
Angus rules the very wild—Blind Angus of the Hill.

Twas in the rule of old King James, for witchcraft Angus lay in chains.
He healed the sick, he cured the lame by sorcery, tis said.
His eyes were both put out for shame
as chained he stood neath the hellish flame,
A vision from the sky there came, and this is what was said.

The birds and beasts will all unite, to see for you both day and night.
To you the gift of second sight is granted with a will.
The mountain path of life youll climb, until the very end of time.
A guardian of all mankind—Blind Angus of the Hill.

Chorus:
Angus is forever young. The birds and beasts to him have sung.
Each in their own bewildering tongue, and time for him stands still.
His spirit is with nature twined, conversing with the fairy kind.
Angus rules the very wild—Blind Angus of the Hill.

BORN BEYOND ON THE BORDER
(Maggie Innes/Gordon Menzies)

Some set sail for Africa with bibles in their hands
Some were forced to the Colonies to build a new Heartland
Even those on the work of the Lord could scarce forbear to weep
But the bitterest tears were shed by those who made way for the sheep

Chorus:
Though were born beyond the border dont say we dont belong
Weve a legacy of Bruce and Wallace too
Were the children of the Clearances the wanderers old and young
And the heart and soul of Scotland just like you

The names, the songs, the stories and the measure of their loss
Formed lullabies for children born beneath the Southern Cross
All across the mighty Rockies to the wide Pacific shore
The names of home, old towns reborn, spring into life once more

Chorus:
Though were born beyond the border dont say we dont belong
Weve a legacy of Bruce and Wallace too
Were the children of the Clearances the wanderers old and young
And the heart and soul of Scotland just like you

So when you sing of the Great White Sheep this you must also know
While Scotland mourns her tragedy it was us that had to go
In exile now far away from the land of their Races birth
Were a living flag of Andrew scattered all across the Earth

Chorus:
Though were born beyond the border dont say we dont belong
Weve a legacy of Bruce and Wallace too
Were the children of the Clearances the wanderers old and young
And the heart and soul of Scotland just like you

BURGHEAD SANDS
(Gordon Menzies)

Come again, come again ye Burghead men
And sail wi the mornin tide
Come again, come again through the wind and the rain
To the place where youll always bide

Chorus:
And you know if stand of the Burghead sand
All the years be ten times ten
Youll aye be a slave to the ocean wave
Till your back on the sea once again

When the fishings done, the harvest won
Take oot your boat tae Skye
Tae the harbor gate, where the woman wait
Till youre safely by their side

Chorus

Born in the wee of the great North Sea
Where the weepin willows laughed
Married at birth to the Moray Firth
And the deck o a fishin craft

Chorus

Come again, come again ye Burghead men
Tae the Broch(?) where youll aye belong
To the Dewars(?) Well, the Claives smell
And the Oysters catchers song

Chorus

DEID FISH AND DIESEL
(Gordon Menzies)

For years upon the mainland I was working like a dog
Till I took a sudden notion for the peat reek and the bog
I put my finest trousers on, a brand new pair of shoes
And with my mate, Big Sandy Tait, we headed north for Lewis

Chorus:
Deid fish and diesel itll take your breath away
You can tell yersel by the fine like smell youre back in Stornoway
The bus from Inversnecky was a wonderful affair
The driver wore dark glasses with a white stick by his chair
He had a little microphone to tell us where wed been
And he took us by a shortcut through Kintail and Achnasheen

Chorus

We wander round the Highlands for seven days or more
Until by chance we came upon the junction at Braemore
Big Sandy grab the driver, he said, Heres the golden rule,
Turn right tonight if you want a fight, but its left for Ullapool.

Chorus

We safetly reached the ferry with little time to spare
You could sense that old familiar feeling hanging in the air
The purser checked the day release we got from Creag Dunain
And we headed off across the Minch as captives of of MacBrayne

Chorus

It wasnt long before we hit the pier at Stornoway
The same old seagull sitting there as when we went away
The grass upon the rooftops and a prayer to save your soul
And the BICC overdraft to keep you on the dole

Chorus

DON'T BURY ME BEFORE THE BATTLE
(Gordon Menzies)

On the hills above the town our forces were assembled
We were ready; we were waiting for the fray
But we knew that ere the dawn many friends would soon depart it
Many soldiers wouldnt greet another day
 
Chorus:
But dont you bury me before the battle
If you think its by choice Im here tonight
I dont make the orders, I obey them
Dont you bury me before the fight

We were thinking of our homes and dread that filled our marrow
Thinking of our daughters and our sons
Of our parents and our loves and the mournful moon above us
And the eyes behind those deadly foreign guns

Chorus

We were captives of the laws that protect our sovereign country
Captives of that old eternal lie
Men, our cause is just and right, God will guard us in the battle
Show your courage by your willingness to die

Chorus

The reasons that they gave us were honey sweet and hollow
Promises of justice, peace and joy
But some were made to lead and others made to follow
So understand this simple soldier boy
 
Chorus

As the Eastern sky grew pale our resolve began to weaken
Then the orders came, make ready for the fight
So we formed reluctant ranks, said our last farewells and parted
Humanity we buried with the night

Chorus

THE EXILE
(MacGregor/Menzies)
 
He came in the mist of a cold winters morning
Down from his horse and he knocked on the door
The eyes that looked out they were darkened by terror
He could see on his face the ill tidings he bore
 
It is not my will but the will of the master
Your thatch will be burned if you be not away
By sundown this evening with all your possessions
To find a new home ere the breaking of day
 
For these are my orders, the stones must be scattered
The white coated sheep now must rule in the Glen
No room now for pity for mothers or children
The lusting of gold is the target of men
 
But where can we go, those whove never known other
Than the Glens of our birth neath the high mountain snow
To cross the wild ocean would tear at our Heart roots
But fate has decreed it, it must be so
 
Across the wild sea we must go for our lives now
To build a new home on the far distant shore
For ever and ever the heartbeats of highland men
Must sigh for the glens that will see them no more'.

But fate is not heartless and new hearts are kindly
A fragment of Scotland will ever remain
Though oceans divide us our children will span them
And stand in the thyme and the heather again
 
But fate is not heartless and new hearts are kindly
A fragment of Scotland will ever remain
Though oceans divide us our children will span them
And stand in the thyme and the heather again

FREEDOM'S SWORD
(Gordon Menzies)
 
In days gone by, Scots workin man
Was loyal tae his feudal clan.
For what was wrong and what was right,
His cause was always Scotlands fight.
And I was born neath Scotias Hills,
My heart with Highland grandeur fills.
For with the Garrys waters flows,
A history bitter more than the sloe.
 
The Bruce and Wallace cracked the band,
That fettered loyal Scottish hands.
And for a while our land was free,
Then came the shame of sixteen-three.
King James the Christians wisest fool,
Forsook his name the South to rule.
But soon he spawned a Stuart son,
Who vainly faced Cullodens guns.
 
From Berwick North tae John OGroats
The Lairds have donnned their Saxon coats.
And who for Scotlands freedom stood,
Soon drowned in false Westminsters flood.
We labored neath the Saxon yoke,
MacGregors name shall neer be spoke.
The hills are over run with sheep,
And freedom has been put to sleep.
 
But times have changed the years have gone,
Yet English justice lingers on.
Our working men as in the past,
Betrayed by Saxon ruling class.
The time is right; the time is now,
Renew your patriotic vow.
I fear no hell nor English strife,
For Scotland I will give my life.

GLASGOW DAN
(Gordon Menzies)
 
His name was Glasgow Dan he was the old melodeon man
He sang his songs of peace and justice all across the land
He sang both rich and bold with a voice of liquid gold
Bringing happiness and teardrops to the eyes of young and old
 
Glasgow Dan the music man
Singing songs and making music of his country
 
He was born in Glasgow town with the shipyards all around
He gained his education from the gutter and the ground
But he listened and he cried with the music of the Clyde
Of the cockers and the platers and the turning of the tide
 
Glasgow Dan the music man
Singing songs and making music of his country
 
He was seventeen years old when he first took to the road
With a battered old melodeon and the sunlight for his load
For forty years or more he tramped from shore to shore
Singing songs and making music of the country and its lore
 
Glasgow Dan the music man
Singing songs and making music of his country
 
He wandered up and down singing songs from town to town
At markets and at fairgrounds in places of renown
And all hed ever seek was a bed and a bite to eat
The crack beside the ingo and the dram before hed sleep
 
Glasgow Dan the music man
Singing songs and making music of his country
 
He missed the mighty Boer and the Kaisers bloody war
Then in thirty-nine they drafted him far from his native shore
When next he saw the Clyde there was shrapnel in his side
And his song were filled with sadness for the countless men who died
 
Glasgow Dan the music man
Singing songs and making music of his country
 
His name was Glasgow Dan he was the old melodeon man
But his heart was surely broken by the cruelties of man
So with winters cloak around he just lay down on the ground
Since he died his old melodeon hasnt made another sound
 
Glasgow Dan the music man
Singing songs and making music of his country

THE HAPPY HOOLIGAN'S
(Gordon Menzies)
 
Its oer the border if you dare and doon tae London for a tear
We are the Happy Hooligans of Wembely
 
I wear a tartan bonnet and a scarf around my throat
And I can sing the Flower Of Scotland every single note
And were going doon tae London toon tae paralyze the undergroond
We are the Happy Hooligans of Wembely
 
When Scotlands playing England it fairly fills my heart
With all the flags and banners I will surely look the part
But win or lose its all the same We did na come to see the game
Were just the Happy Hooligans of Wembely
 
Its oer the border if you dare and doon tae London for a tear
We are the Happy Hooligans of Wembely
 
Theres forty in my party aye and thats including me
We did na all get tickets in fact weve only three
So three will win the lucky draw the rest will climb in oer the wall
We are the Happy Hooligans of Wembely
 
Well see how many pints o beer that we can sink away
Were going ta drink all London dry, well drink her dry today
And before we even see the ball well lose it up against the wall
We are the Happy Hooligans of Wembely
 
Its oer the border if you dare and doon tae London for a tear
We are the Happy Hooligans of Wembely
 
And when the game is over and we finished all the beer
We canna go back to Scotland with out a souvenir
So maybe for a wee bit lark well dig up half of Wembely Park
For were the Happy Hooligans of Wembely
 
So now were back in Scotland after all the deeds are done
We dinna really gie a damn if Scotland lost or won
For weve met the English had oor fun reminded them of Bannockburn
And were the Happy Hooligans of Wembely
 
Its oer the border if you dare and doon tae London for a tear
We are the Happy Hooligans of Wembely
Its oer the border if you dare and doon tae London for a tear
We are the Happy Hooligans of Wembely

HERCULES THE BEAR
(Gordon Menzies)
 
Oh, Hercules the Bear, was a famous T.V. star,
He was makin adverts for the S.T.V.
He could wrestle in the ring, but alas, he could nay sing
So in despair he threw himself in tay the sea
 
He swam till by and by, he had reached the Isle of Skye
And like other tourists headed for Portree
But, a singin dentist there, gave him tooth ache in his ear
So he turned aroond and right back in the sea
 
Chorus:
Oh, Hercules the Bear, was a famous T.V. star,
And all the world had heard aboot now
You never will be poor at your cage at Sherifmuir
So me fortune shine upon your curly power
 
Now, Hercules was sad that his singin was so bad
When thought of all the pleasure he could bring
He knew he could be big, if he got on Thing-a-me-jig
Wi all the other bears who couldna sing
 
Now, the wee (cew caduns Laird(?) and said, Divinely stared.(?)
While Fran and Anna simply drove him wild
And even Tom and Jack, couldnae bring Big Hercie back
Wi his rendering of Anybodys Child
 
Chorus
People came from far and near, to try and catch the bear
There must been a thousand more or less
But, Hercules had gone to compose a different song
And tae visit wi his cousin in Loch Ness
 
Now Newis(?) North Isle he surrendered wi a smile
For twenty-two days he had been free
But we know with a doubt, why big Hercie opt it out
Hed a better offer from the BBC
 
Chorus

JIM McKAY
(Gordon Menzies)
 
There was a man come frae the North his name was Jim McKay
Hes left his hame in Achnabad his fortune for to try
Jimma a timma a too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ra Jimma a timma a too-ra-lay
 
Hes labored wi the forestry hes labored wi the land
But after all his toil was done there was nothing in his hand—Jimma a timmaetcetc
 
So hes gone oot to Westerross the shores of Loch Kishorn
Where the Sunday best was put to rest and the Ninian rig was born—Jimma a timmaetc
 
Where the hammers ring and the rivets sing sleeps a mans best friends
The shuttering doors and the concrete pours and blasts for days on end—Jimma a timmaetc
 
At the building of the mighty rig hes grafted two long years
Wi the International Brigade he sweated blood and tears—Jimma a timmaetc
 
And when the platform floated out all the work was done
Hes gone to weld the pipeline in the land o the Midnight Sun—Jimma a timmaetc
 
While back at home in Achnabad Fiona sits alone
Shes waiting for depression days to send her Jimmy home—Jimma a timmaetc
 
Ah Fiona dear, Fiona dear, will you wait for me
For Ive trained to be a diver in the wild and the wintery sea—Jimma a timmaetc
 
Ach! Jimmy, dearest Jimmy, tae the North Sea Dinna gang
For Ive had the strangest dream last night something would go wrang—Jimma a timmaetc
 
For the North Sea is a temptress a widow maker she
Shes courted manys a bonnie lad wi tears of treachery—Jimma a timmaetc
 
Ah Fiona dear, Fiona dear, dont you grieve for me
Im following the money lass and the divin games for me—Jimma a timmaetc
 
The divin bell it rose and fell it had a two man crew
There was Jim McKay from Achnabad, Pierre from Fontainebleau—Jimma a timmaetc
 
What happened underneath rig nane can tell for sure
But they heard the bell man shout, Its Turned then they heard no more—Jimma a timmaetc
 
It was on a Monday afternoon young Jim McKay was killed
He was murdered by the very rig he had helped to build—Jimma a timmaetc

KELLY
(Gordon Menzies)
 
I am a bold bush ranger, Ned Kelly is my name
My band is known and feared across the great Australian plain
From Adelaide to Darwin and from Perth to Port Brisbane
 
All along the Maury Darlin river up to North Queensland
I robbed the bloody bossman with my armour plated band
And the evening whispers, Kelly cross the great Australian sand
 
Theres many a lousy trooper who would like to see me swing
But the bushman chant me praises out along by Alice Spring
And the roo will be my watchdog while the kookaburra sings
 
I am a bold bush ranger, Ned Kelly is my name
My band is known and feared across the great Australian plain
From Adelaide to Darwin and from Perth to Port Brisbane
 
But now me days are number and the law is on me tail
Fitzpatricks bullets whistle round me head like driving hail
I know I must be taken to be hanged in Melbourne jail

KISHORN COMMADOS
(Gordon Menzies)
 
Chorus:
Were the Kishorn Commandos way up in Wester Ross
We never had a gaffer; weve never had a boss
But, well build the biggest oil rig youve ever come across
Remember were the Kishorn Commandos
 
Oh, every single morning we get wakened by a shout
Get up you idle buggers wont you get your fingers out
And what do get for breakfast, seven pints of stout
Remember were the Kishorn Commandos
 
Digging down a dusty hole till we can hardly speak
Summer sunshine, rain or snow we seldom stop to sleep
We work for 40 hours a day, at fourteen days a week
Remember were the Kishorn Commandos
 
Were the toughest gang of workers that you have ever met
Well work and fight with anyone and you can lay a bet
There may be some men tougher, but we havent found them yet
Remember were the Kishorn Commandos
 
We never joined the navy; wed never joined the RAF
We never joined the army, were not so bloody daffed
Wed rather come to Kishorn and get paid for skiven aff
Remember were the Kishorn Commandos
 
Youre welcome here in Kishorn if you know how to work
Weve Geordies here from Africa and Paddies from New York
Weve Scowsers, Jocks and Taffies all from the County Cork
Remember were the Kishorn Commandos
 
And when the job is over well up and pack our bags
Well spend our money on the booze the women and the nags
But until then well have to do with Navvys dressed in drag
Remember were the Kishorn Commandos

LION ON THE GOLD
(Gordon Menzies)
 
For most of my life I have wandered the world
Through manys a nation with flags all unfurled
But in all of my travels no prouder flag Ive found
Than the red rampant lion of the golden ground
Its the red rampant lion of Scotland
 
North by the Shetlands and South by the Tweed
Its honored forever in story and deed
First into battle it always could be found
The red rampant lion of the golden ground
Its the red rampant lion of Scotland
 
Weve lost men at Floodin, at Flanders and Spain
More Culloden and El Alimain
But weve never been conquered and still we rally round
The red rampant lion of the golden ground
Its the red rampant lion of Scotland
 
The thistle is bonny when flowering alone
But whaur dare to meddle, shell cut to the bone
And to Scotland my darling, me heart is ever bound
By the red rampant lion of the golden ground
Its the red rampant lion, the lion of Scotland
A Scotland united and free

MEN FROM THE RIGS
(Gordon Menzies)
 
Out from the rocky coast of Scotland, where the North seas heave boil
Men have gone to seek their fortune, drilling for the North Sea oil
 
Chorus:
Captive o the rigs and the barges some may once again be free
Some will find eternal bondage underneath the rolling sea
 
Black above the clouds of thunder black below the waters roll
Black the oil they seek to plunder, black as the Yankee gangers soul
 
Chorus:
Captive o the rigs and the barges some may once again be free
Some will find eternal bondage underneath the rolling sea
 
Some will always seek adventure; some are always on the run
Some will brave the mighty forties just to boast of what theyve done
 
Chorus:
Captive o the rigs and the barges some may once again be free
Some will find eternal bondage underneath the rolling sea
 
Men of every creed and color, every nation side by side
Battle with the common army: Wind and water, time and tide
 
Chorus:
Captive o the rigs and the barges some may once again be free
Some will find eternal bondage underneath the rolling sea
 
Out from the rocky coast of Scotland, where the North seas heave boil
Men have gone to seek their fortune, drilling for the North Sea oil

SCHIEHALLION
(Gordon Menzies)
 
Come charge up your glasses and lets drink a toast,
To the bold Scottish heroes and the proud Scottish host
To the battles weve won and the few that weve lost,
Heres a health tae the back o Schiehallion
 
The Blue Belle of Scotland is hangin her head
And the lion once rampant is lying like dead
To grieve for their country whose courage has fled
Far awa tae the back o Schiehallion
 
Chorus:
Schiehallion, Schiehallion, I hear your voice calling
Across the great glen to the coast of Argyle
The Lowlands, the Highlands, the Borders, the Islands
All drink tae the back o Schiehallion
 
God speed the day when the Scots are awake
The fetters of England to crack and to break
And stand by their freedom their birthright to take
Heres a health tae the back o Schiehallion
 
Chorus:
Schiehallion, Schiehallion, I hear your voice calling
Across the great glen to the coast of Argyle
The Lowlands, the Highlands, the Borders, the Islands
All drink tae the back o Schiehallion
Schiehallion, Schiehallion, I hear your voice calling
Across the great glen to the coast of Argyle
The Lowlands, the Highlands, the Borders, the Islands
All drink tae the back o Schiehallion

SCOTLAND OWNS ME
(Gordon Menzies)
 
Scotland owns me, heart and head and hand
Scotland owns me, and I own no other land
Ive got nae wish to die for Scotland
For that would nae gain a thing
But for every waking hour Ill live to see her free again
 
Freedom from what asks the quisling
Our English Lords are kind, aye
But while Scotlands laws are English made, Ill ken nae piece of mind
The quisling cries aloud again
See poverty is dead, theres hostels for the sick
And the poor, and old, aye all are fed
Dinna bite the hand that feeds you; pal, my faither always said
 
Theres dole queues for the living and death grants for the dead
Aye, if a man can find nae work, the dole maye provide
But can a man still be a man, if hes lost his pride
This land of was surely pockled for the ancient Celtic tribe
While mony a Scottish, Judas hand received a Saxon bribe
 
A land of heroes once we were, micht be again nae doubt
But quisling traitors, dank and foul, must still be weeded out
When Robert Bruce had claimed the throne and independence rocked
He wasnt King of Scotland, but created King of Scots
And so this land of Scotland cannot be owned by man
But borrowed by our ain folk, for length of one life span
 
Aye, Scotland owns me, heart and hand and head
And the sovereign soil of Scotland can claim me when Im dead

SCOTLAND TOMORROW
(Gordon Menzies)

Chorus:
Scotland fight on for glory, Scotland well sing your story
Scotland today tomorrow, well follow you to victory

See the barren moor at Rannoch See the Tummels waters glide
See forlorn the fields at Ebboch where so many heroes died
Gaze across the empty glen of Caithness, Ross and Sutherland
Think upon the future of your homeland

Chorus:
Scotland fight on for glory, Scotland well sing your story
Scotland today tomorrow, well follow you to victory

Hail the hallowed hall of Scoon where destiny once proudly lay
And St. Andrews ancient kingdom lies beyond the Firth O' Tay
Breathe the air at Sterling Bridge where mighty Wallace made his stand
Thinking on the future of his homeland

Chorus:
Scotland fight on for glory, Scotland well sing your story
Scotland today tomorrow, well follow you to victory

See the sunset oer the Cumrae; bronze the new turned fields of Ayr
Where Burns plowed and penned his verse
For brothers oer the world to share
Roxburgh, Dumfries and Berwick sentries at the borders stand
Thinking on the future of their homeland

Chorus:
Scotland fight on for glory, Scotland well sing your story
Scotland today tomorrow, well follow you to victory

Quite now the Clyde side shipyard, cold and still the foundry gate
Silence now the workers waiting knowing not for what they wait
Comfort find in one another sharing poverty we stand
Thinking on the future of our homeland

Chorus:
Scotland fight on for glory, Scotland well sing your story
Scotland today tomorrow, well follow you to victory     

THIS LAND IS YOUR LAND
(Guthrie/Menzies)
 
Chorus:
This land is your land, this land my land
From the English border, to the North Sea water
From the Western Islands, to the Northern Highlands
This land was made for you and me
 
One summers morning as the day was dawning
I viewed the Islands on the misty skyline
The rainbow fountain of the Coolin Mountains
This land was made for you and me
 
Chorus
Old winter crept on as Scotland slept on
No factory roaring, no oil rig oaring
Just weeded byways and deserted highways
Relics of the life it used to be
 
Chorus
Then I awakened to a spring day breakin
On the sons and daughters of Albas waters
And the flag theyre flyin is the rampant lion
This land was made for you and me
 
Chorus

WILLIE JOHN McMENEMY
(Gordon Menzies)
 
Now Willie John McMenemy, he lived in the Gallow Gates
He got married at an early age tae a bonny lass named Kate
They never had much money, but they never had much strife
They never had an angry word in all their married life
 
Now Willie John McMenemy, he said tae his wife, Now Kate,
Oor little room and kitchen were goin tae decorate.
He painted the ceiling, the walls and the doors, he didna miss the rug
Then he said, Noo Kate, I wont be late. Im gonna run doon tae the pub.
 
Chorus:
They never had much money, but they never had much strife
They never had an angry word in all their married life
 
You see, Willie John went boozing, while Kate she sat at home
 How can I occupy my time while Im sitting here alone?
Willie, he has nae cleaned the brushes, noo that something I can do.
So she cleaned them in some petrol and she coked it doon the loo
 
Chorus:
They never had much money, but they never had much strife
They never had an angry word in all their married life
 
Well, three days later in came Willie as drunk as he can get
Straight in tae the toilet and he lights a cigarette
He was sitting on the clutchie, so happy and content
A final drag—upon his fag—and phhft doon the loo in went
 
The petrol it ignited underneath poor Willies rump
And the force of the explosion fairly made poor Willie jump
His backside black and blistered and his troosers roond his feet
He cracked his heid on the cistern lid and quickly went to sleep
 
Chorus:
They never had much money, but they never had much strife
They never had an angry word in all their married life
 
Now the ambulance was summoned for poor Willie lyin there
And the stretcher was made ready for to cart him doon the stair
But the ambulance attendant hearing how he came to harm
He laughed that hard and he dropped him and he broke his bloody arm
 
Final Chorus:
They never had much money, but they never had much strife
Till Willie John got knackered by his ever lovin wife